LUCY VANN

Performance with phone
Construction House - Leisure Time, S1 Artspace, 2018
Photos by Reuben James Brown

Also performed at
Playing Houses, Artist Run, Flat Time House, 2019
Performance Event, Nine Nectarines and Other Porcelain, Tŷ Pawb, 2019




Hello
My name’s Lucy
I’m 32
I’m 5ft 8
I’m from Sheffield
I’m an artist
I’m trying to put myself out there

I’ve been thinking about performance
I've been thinking about dating apps
and the way people write about themselves
and the way people talk to other people
on various platforms

I thought this would be a good platform
to introduce myself

and to talk
and to see if anything happens

I’ve been off the scene for quite a while now

I’ve been laying low
I’ve been quite nervous about doing this
I’ve been a bit hesitant at getting back into it

but people keep telling me I should “put myself out there”

I have done a few things like this in the past
but I haven’t tried anything like this before


this is fairly new territory for me
so I’m not really sure what to expect

I’m not really sure what’s going to happen

I don’t know how this will go down
but I thought why not give it a go

I thought it would be good to get out my comfort zone

I’m an experimental person
I want to experiment
and try new things
and do something different
to my everyday

I like to embrace life and to challenge myself and others

and I’ll try anything once
so here I am



Sorry
I can seem a bit quiet to begin with

it can take me a while to warm up
I can put on a bit of a front

it does take me a while to let my guard down

and for people to get to know the “real” me

I wouldn’t say I’m particularly introverted or extroverted

I did come out as INFP on a personality test once 

Sorry
that there aren’t more photos of me here

I don’t take many photos of myself

I’ve been told I look better in real life than in photos

and I’m not really a selfie person




so, please don’t ask me to send any pictures





I am trying to be more open to this
I’m trying to share more

I’m trying to push myself into new situations


and hopefully this will be fun
just casual
and not too serious

I’m not interested in anything serious








I fully appreciate
that this won’t be for everyone

I know I'm not to everyone’s taste

you’ve probably heard all this before
so I’ll try and keep it brief

I don’t want to waste your time

I’m not here to waste anyone’s time

I’m not here to mess around

as I said I am quite new to this

please be kind



I’m not entirely sure how these things are meant to work
I’m just going to try it out
and see where it goes
please try to bear with me


so
apparently it helps
to connect to people
if you share a bit



tell people a bit more about yourself

give people some information


some preferences
a list of likes or dislikes

something that isn’t too long
or too short

that’s original

engaging

that grabs attention

and that hasn’t been over thought too much



according to the internet 

if you’re having a hard time knowing what to say 
start with what you know,
whether it’s a story, an anecdote
or something from your day to day life 

don’t try and reinvent the wheel

try not to indulge your insecurities or be too negative

saying something simple with a beginning 
middle and end can be very seductive

if you want to keep it short and fun make a list

it makes you seem more approachable
list out things you like
 
things you’ve done

things you’ve never done





lists are easy to write and enticing

don’t be afraid to get a little weird and random

share a secret desire, an odd personality trait or habit
whatever you do be different



why not try making a joke
it’s short
gets attention, and if you do it right

will make people laugh
and feel closer to you

















bearing all this mind
I thought it would be a good idea
to talk a bit more about myself

here is a bit

that I wrote about me


this is where I talk about myself














I like
reading, writing, photography, art,
going swimming, going for a run,
cycling, walks in the peak district,
the great outdoors, cities, woodlands,
museums, historical sites,
holidays in the UK or further afield,
the seaside
live music,
festivals and gigs,
sitting in cafes,
sitting in pubs,
spending time in art galleries
most genres of music
some genres of film

I can appreciate most types of weather

seeing family, seeing friends, meeting new people
going out for a drink with my colleagues 
good conversation, good senses of humour 




having a laugh
making other people laugh
laughing at my own jokes

documentaries,
listening to the radio 
listening to podcasts 
reading articles online

eating food
inventing new recipes
trying new restaurants
drinking – although I’m not much of a drinker these days
nights in
nights out
staying in
going out

I like both staying in and going out




I’m independent
I have a decent enough job
I’m self employed
I live in a 1 bed flat
I can drive a car


I prefer

tea over coffee
non-fiction over fiction
radio over television
baths over showers
cats over dogs
pubs over clubs
beer over wine

I don’t like spiders
I don’t like being cold
I don’t like flying
I don’t like going to the gym
I don’t like dogs
I’m not really into social media
I don’t like looking at screens
I recently set my phone to grey scale
to make it less distracting
I deleted facebook
I deleted twitter
I deleted snap chat
I deleted bumble
I deleted linked in
I set a 2 mile privacy zone on Strava
I deleted Tinder
I temporarily deleted Instagram
but now it’s just set to private
so you can follow me on there if you want




I don’t watch series
I don’t watch box sets
I don’t play video games 
I don’t have Netflix
I’ve never seen Love Island
I’ve never seen Game of Thrones
I don’t smoke
I don’t drink caffeine
I’ve never been married


I’ve got no children 
no pets
no tattoos
no television




















if there’s anything I haven’t covered
feel free to ask



you can ask me anything
at any point
I’m here all night

I'm an open person
I’m open to questions

if you’d like to know more










I was a bit worried
about how this would go
I’ve had mixed experiences in the past





I don’t like awkward silences
and being stuck for things to say














hopefully you’ve got to know me a bit
hopefully this has left some sort of an impression on you
hopefully I’ve made some sort of a connection











I’ve been talking for what feels like quite a while now

there’s probably a lot more I could say

but I don’t want to give everything away

I’ve heard it’s good

to be enigmatic



I don’t want to carry on for too long
maybe it’s better to call it a night soon
I don’t want to keep you too much longer











and I’ve got quite a lot on








I’m really busy






so maybe it’s best to draw this to a close




I’ve had a nice time
it’s been lovely










I’ve had a great time















I’ve really enjoyed the company


it’s been really great











but

if I’m being honest








I do find all this a bit strange










it all feels a bit forced



I think it’s fairer on everyone




in the long run
if I’m honest



to be honest
















I’m not sure if I’m really feeling it




















I have tried














I don’t really know if this is going well






















I’m not really sure if it’s what I want to be doing right now







I’m quite a busy person
I have a lot going on







and this sort of thing
takes a lot of energy







to be honest






I’ve been dreading this





















I hate doing stuff like this










I don’t know why I put myself through it



I’m not sure yet
if this has been a good idea

























this whole set up makes me feel really uncomfortable























you’ve made me feel really uncomfortable



I hope you understand



I hope you can appreciate what I’m saying



I think it’s best to be up front about these things









































maybe you feel the same























there’s no point dragging this out
any longer than necessary


















maybe it’s better for everyone if I wrap this up













it’s always awkward trying to end these things
politely


















I don’t want to keep you much longer


















I would quite like to stop this now































sorry for being weird





I think I need a break













sorry























this is awkward















I can’t really see how this can go any further



















I don’t want to carry on with this




















it wouldn’t be fair on anyone






























if I carried on like this



there’s only so long

I can go on doing this






















and there’s only so long

I can go on










repeating myself like this

























I think I’m done with all this now












I’m going to stop now


















I’m going to leave it here now
































I’m going to leave this here